My First Night In A Hostel

Saturday February 6, 2010: Like many people without a place to stay, I spent last night in a hostel...a youth hostel to be exact.

From start to finish it was an interesting experience.

Not Unexpected

When Leo came home from work yesterday (Friday) he told me it was time for me to leave and that he would arrange for a hotel and cab for me. From my perspective, this was not totally unexpected.

On Thursday evening, a friend (Scott Bowers...aka Costa Rica guy) called me at Leo's place. To say Leo went ballistic is the understatement of the year. He was really pissed off that I had “been giving his phone number out.”

Earlier in the day, Scott and I had a quick exchange of emails which ended with Scott telling me to call him, which I did. When I called, the phone wasn't answered so I just hung up.

In the afternoon, Scott checked the call display on his phone, saw a number he didn't recognize, which was Leo's, checked the timing and concluded that was my call to him. He called around 6:00 and suggested that we go out.

He had just learned that he had been granted permanent residency status in Costa Rica and wanted me to go out to celebrate with him. (We did in fact go out...and the tale of our evening is a story for another time).

It was after Scott's call that Leo went ballistic. It was during his tirade that Leo basically said he liked being alone and did not welcome people...or phone calls...into his home.

OK..fair enough.

So why was I there?

Leo's Fantasy

Leo and I initially connected through an online chat room and exchanged emails for several months.

Throughout this exchange, I saw that Leo was starting to develop the fantasy of our becoming...and then actually being...close friends.

For Leo, this fantasy was becoming increasingly appealing; for me it was becoming increasingly marked by warning flags and flashing caution lights.

When I made my decision to visit Costa Rica, Leo invited me to stay at his place until I got a place of my own. At the time, we agreed that two weeks would be about right.

When I met Leo last Saturday, he was warm and friendly, happy to see me.

When we got to his place, I was absolutely blown away by his condo.

It was huge..2200 square metres..and very, very luxuriously furnished. But is was also very sterile. It felt like being in a museum surrounded by professionally chosen accessories and works of art. No where was there anything that reflected Leo.

Things Don't Always Work Out As Planned

It was during our conversations that I began to realize how lonely Leo is.

He talked about friendships that didn't work out, and went on to explain that as a result he doesn't really want any friends.

For me that was a huge disconnect with what we had chatted about in our emails.

When clearing security at Leo's building for the last time on my way to the hostel, I was struck again with how much the building was like a prison.

His condo is always sealed tight to keep the ever present wind from bringing in dust.

There is only one access point to the building. This is a locked gate that a uniformed guard opens as little as possible to let approved people in or out.

When I was leaving in the cab, I felt like a prisoner must feel on being discharged from jail.

What a great and fun welcome at Hotel Galileo...aka Hostel Galileo. Kind of like going to a rustic cottage with well used and gently abused furniture.

The place is owned and operated by a young American woman about the same age as, and with attitudes similar to, our daughter Hayley.

One of her staff is an equally energetic woman named Tara, who was born and raised the Beaches...yes those Beaches...in Toronto.

By way of bonding with a fellow Torontonian, I gave Tara a handful of maple leaf lapel pins which are miniature versions of the Canadian flag.

She was happier with these pins than Leo seemed to be surrounded by his professionally chosen accessories and works of art.

Upgrading Security

In terms of security, I am going to upgrade the security system on the door to my room. That will be simple...just change the location of the eye bolts for the padlock. Glad I brought my Swiss Army knife.

Reflecting on my experience with Leo, I am reminded of a poster that I had beside my desk at my first job.

The poster said: “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges”